If there's one thing I can say about myself, it's that I love to do everything on my own. It's not pride that keeps me from asking for help, but it's just that I think I'm capable of doing whatever it is I need to do on my own. A lot of times, I find myself not even welcoming the input of others because I want to figure things out myself. This could be seen as a bad thing, you know, because by not letting others in, I am really doubting their expertise. I mean, they could know more than I do about something but I would never know because I choose not to let them in. It really boils down to me not being able to decipher what information I receive is worthy versus what is just bad information. I am learning that I can still figure things out on my own, even after I ask for help or advice, and just because I ask doesn't mean I am completely ignorant or that they are 100% correct! I can take a little from here and there. (This will make sense in a moment).
Yesterday (9/18) I submitted part one of a three part assignment in my "Making Ideas Visible" course. That one part took me three weeks to complete. These are the pics you see here. The idea of the project is to show 50 ways that someone can see a particular object. I chose a sneaker, whereas some students chose a paperclip, water, penny, etc. The technical stuff (lining things up, color, font choice) was the most difficult, however, finding images was pretty hard as well. The new policy is that we cannot use any internet or other images that are not our own. We can take other images and combine them with ours to create one image, and we must really think outside of the box to come up with 50 different images.
I am pretty much a digital art gal. I can sketch and draw stick figures, but I am truly a beginner when it comes to photography, painting, drawing, etc. After spending a week bouncing ideas off a couple of co-workers, I realized that photography was going to play a major role in this project, and I realized that my cute, little digital camera was not going to do the trick.
Here's where my intro paragraph to this post ties in..........
One of my coworkers is a videography/photography student who actually does videos for our company. He's pretty good. He has all the fancy lighting and zoom lenses that I know would work well, but at first, I didn't want to ask him if he could help me because I just wanted to work on things on my own. You should have seen me in Best Buy trying to figure out what $1000 camera I needed to buy to make my pics look like what I needed them to look like! I had no idea what I was doing. Anyway, after about 5 days of trying to work with horrible shots taken from my digital camera (and a few tears), I realized that I needed help. But, did I ask for it? Nope. I pouted and got frustrated and had a couple of sleepless nights trying to figure out how I was going to pay for that fancy camera at Best Buy. My coworker (the videographer) happened to stop by and ask how school was going. I told him how much trouble I was having with the photography and that I had no idea what I was doing. At that moment, I just had to ask if he could help me figure out what I was doing wrong and how I could fix it. Again, notice how I didn't ask for help! I asked how I could fix what I was doing wrong. Geez louise Monique!
My coworker did more than tell me what I was doing wrong. He offered to take some pics for me and he gave up his time on a Sunday- while he had projects of his own to work on- to show up wherever I needed him to to help me out. Wow. I was super surprised. But, why was I surprised- I wondered?
How have I come this far thinking that people aren't willing to help? I help people all the time. But turn the situation around, and I am very quick to think others are too busy to help me. Is that really it, though? Or, is it that I have a fear that what I am doing may be critiqued and I am afraid that my work isn't good enough or that my skills aren't up to par. That's it.
Crazy huh? I am one of those people who thinks that if I don't do something well the first time around, that something is wrong with me. Why can't it just be that I am learning.....why can't I just learn!?
Well, I am learning. I am learning to give myself time and space to develop my skills and to understand that I do not know everything and if I did, I wouldn't need anyone. But I do need people. I love my friends and family and I am learning that we all have a lot to offer each other.
To my friends and family, and future friends and family...... thanks for the love, advice, and support and KEEP IT COMING!!!!
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